OMFG!!!!!
Just checked the mail and got two checks back that we sent out last week!!!!
Seems while my dingbat, drunk ass hubby was writing out Estate checks to his sisters he forgot one little detail.
and neither of them know how to fix it themselves.......
HAHAHA.....He forgot they were fucking MARRIED.....that's right folks, he made out checks to his sisters using their MAIDEN names!!!!!
What a Fucktard!! Seems they had a little trouble trying to deposit them without proper ID!!!!
So while I sit here laughing my ass off, I am trying to come up with a way of holding this one over his head for a veerryyy long time!!
Thursday, June 3, 2010
I GOT NOTHIN'
I guess it has finally happened.....I am out of words.....
everyday I sit down thinking I am going to blog, and every day the same shit happens....
I GOT NOTHIN'
What the fuck is going on with my damn enter button?? I hit enter and go back to the beginning of the previous line???? That would make for some fucked up reading...I would even believe I am crazy then....
I got the daycare kids down to 2 part timers....my goal was to get to ZERO!!! I need a break.
With 2 part time kids I started cleaning house...No, I mean CLEANING OUT THE HOUSE!!
I finally had time to go through it all one room at a time, finally would get around to having that rummage sale I was thinking about 6 years ago! Kids get your shit or it's gone!!
I am down to 3 rooms left.....but somehow I now have 5 FULL TIME KIDS AGAIN !!! How the hell did that shit happen???? I can tell you how it happened.....
Seems the only time I am really good at telling people to FUCK OFF is after a 4 pack of Red Bull.....with one ounce Vegas shots, ummm, 4 Bombs to a can of Red Bull.....my math says that after 16 Vegas Bombs I can tell anyone to fuck off and leave me the hell alone!!
So now I have kids all day, naughty ones at that!! 3 rooms of the house not gone through yet...kids home from college.....and a planned rummage sale on June 19th. FML....
I somehow don't see it happening on time...all because I didn't drink on the day I needed to have the will power to say NO!!
So here I sit reading all the blogs out there in blog land that make me laugh and spit fucking coffee on my keyboard ( thanks guys, I just had to get a new one), and thinking "I should blog again".....so I hit NEW POST........ and hours later close out of it....CUZ I GOT NOTHIN'!!!!
So here's the deal......I need Vegas Bombs EVERY day so I can tell this fucking parents to fuck off and leave me alone, I don't want any more kids for a while.....so this is what I need:
1. Crown Royal.....
2. Peach Schnapps....
3. Coconut Rum....
4. Red Bull....
5. Ciggies....
6. And a swift kick in the ass, cuz this bitch is ready to get back to.........
yea, I am ready to wear it proudly again!!
everyday I sit down thinking I am going to blog, and every day the same shit happens....
I GOT NOTHIN'
What the fuck is going on with my damn enter button?? I hit enter and go back to the beginning of the previous line???? That would make for some fucked up reading...I would even believe I am crazy then....
I got the daycare kids down to 2 part timers....my goal was to get to ZERO!!! I need a break.
With 2 part time kids I started cleaning house...No, I mean CLEANING OUT THE HOUSE!!
I finally had time to go through it all one room at a time, finally would get around to having that rummage sale I was thinking about 6 years ago! Kids get your shit or it's gone!!
I am down to 3 rooms left.....but somehow I now have 5 FULL TIME KIDS AGAIN !!! How the hell did that shit happen???? I can tell you how it happened.....
Seems the only time I am really good at telling people to FUCK OFF is after a 4 pack of Red Bull.....with one ounce Vegas shots, ummm, 4 Bombs to a can of Red Bull.....my math says that after 16 Vegas Bombs I can tell anyone to fuck off and leave me the hell alone!!
So now I have kids all day, naughty ones at that!! 3 rooms of the house not gone through yet...kids home from college.....and a planned rummage sale on June 19th. FML....
I somehow don't see it happening on time...all because I didn't drink on the day I needed to have the will power to say NO!!
So here I sit reading all the blogs out there in blog land that make me laugh and spit fucking coffee on my keyboard ( thanks guys, I just had to get a new one), and thinking "I should blog again".....so I hit NEW POST........ and hours later close out of it....CUZ I GOT NOTHIN'!!!!
So here's the deal......I need Vegas Bombs EVERY day so I can tell this fucking parents to fuck off and leave me alone, I don't want any more kids for a while.....so this is what I need:
1. Crown Royal.....
2. Peach Schnapps....
3. Coconut Rum....
4. Red Bull....
5. Ciggies....
6. And a swift kick in the ass, cuz this bitch is ready to get back to.........
yea, I am ready to wear it proudly again!!
Sunday, May 23, 2010
She Really Tagged Me!!
Queen of WTF got me good....I think she is tired of me not blogging very often.....
She tagged me....
Sooooo here's what you do:
1. Go to your photos files and select the 8th photo folder.
2. Select the 8th photo in that folder.
3. Post that photo along with the story behind it.
4. Then challenge 8 blogging friends to do the same by going to their blog and telling them "Tag You Are It!"
3 days of non stop drinking at state pool tournament. This was the game we were playing and if you love to drink and have never tried it...well your missing a shit load of fun...
a few pics later in this same folder are pics of people mooning everyone! Not me you idiots!!! I was BEHIND the camera!!!
Now let's see who I can tag.....
She tagged me....
Sooooo here's what you do:
1. Go to your photos files and select the 8th photo folder.
2. Select the 8th photo in that folder.
3. Post that photo along with the story behind it.
4. Then challenge 8 blogging friends to do the same by going to their blog and telling them "Tag You Are It!"
3 days of non stop drinking at state pool tournament. This was the game we were playing and if you love to drink and have never tried it...well your missing a shit load of fun...
a few pics later in this same folder are pics of people mooning everyone! Not me you idiots!!! I was BEHIND the camera!!!
Now let's see who I can tag.....
Friday, May 21, 2010
Thinking about Daffy
Sharing in the heartfelt pain of a fellow blogger.....
Daffy, we are all thinking of you and your family and sending prayers and good thoughts and wishes your way
(((HUGS)))
Daffy, we are all thinking of you and your family and sending prayers and good thoughts and wishes your way
(((HUGS)))
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Who done it? AND WHY?
The posts are random... adult language is a must...we will now return you to your regular scheduled bullshit! On another channel..
Copy, paste in your blog..and use the linky thing.. stay in order please!
There was a blogger that turned orange. No one really knew why the color orange was picked. Many bloggers have a theory of the reason, but no one knows for sure.This blogger believes that the orange color was from the many years of blogging while eating cheetos. Cheetos will turn you fingers orange. I believe that the blogger was so addicted to blogging, that they didn't even have time to stop and wash their hands.
As the weeks went by, with endless Cheetos and blog posting.. every part of their body was touched. My only concern was the day that the bloggers pee turned orange. I really can't figure that one out,, so I asked my fellow blogger (you're next) what their theory was...
You are next.....
click hereto enter
Monday, March 22, 2010
Damn you QUEENIE
I am sure you are all familiar with the Queen, This blog is a bitch session about what that HAG woman did to me.....
Any body who isa nosey bitch anyone has a face book, right? Yep so do I (cuz I think I am SOMEBODY)! And I have a friend who is the Queen of all that is bad and Evil.....
Well the Queen likes to play the games......as do I. One day I see this post on my wall begging somebody to play this new game.....Queenie needs friends to level up, and Oh, this is her FAVORITE game....blah, blah, blah....
DAMN ME !! I fell for it....she said "you don't have to play, just set it up so I have a neighbor so I can level up".
So ok, the game looked a bit interesting, so I played....just a little bit......You see Queenie was already like 26 or so levels ahead of me, no chance there, just let her keep on going.....
Next thing I know I am HOOKED! Fucking addicted to this God forsaken game!!!! I am talking 5 hours a day.....7 days a week!!
I am now level 37 and moving on up..... and Queenie...well...The Bitch QUIT PLAYING !!!
How fucking stupid is that!! So now I figure, if I beg others to be my neighbor and use the same hook line, well maybe...just maybe.....
I can give up that fucking addiction.....Like I don't have enough of them on my own! I certainly didn't need that kind of help from a FRIEND!!
And I am so not buying the fact that she now has 3 real life jobs to occupy her time.....No way in Hell she is getting out of this one..... the blame is all hers and I did nothing but try to help a friend!!
the way I see it, I'm a thinkin' I may have to trick her into meeting me half way between her place in Kansas and my place in Nebraska for a weekend of drinking, and , and, umm..... FUN!!!! Maybe I can get her to "drunk blog".....then you would allpee your pants see how evil she really is!
And let this be a lesson to one and all.....NEVER, I repeat, NEVER help a friend on Facebook!!!
Any body who is
Well the Queen likes to play the games......as do I. One day I see this post on my wall begging somebody to play this new game.....Queenie needs friends to level up, and Oh, this is her FAVORITE game....blah, blah, blah....
DAMN ME !! I fell for it....she said "you don't have to play, just set it up so I have a neighbor so I can level up".
So ok, the game looked a bit interesting, so I played....just a little bit......You see Queenie was already like 26 or so levels ahead of me, no chance there, just let her keep on going.....
Next thing I know I am HOOKED! Fucking addicted to this God forsaken game!!!! I am talking 5 hours a day.....7 days a week!!
I am now level 37 and moving on up..... and Queenie...well...The Bitch QUIT PLAYING !!!
How fucking stupid is that!! So now I figure, if I beg others to be my neighbor and use the same hook line, well maybe...just maybe.....
I can give up that fucking addiction.....Like I don't have enough of them on my own! I certainly didn't need that kind of help from a FRIEND!!
And I am so not buying the fact that she now has 3 real life jobs to occupy her time.....No way in Hell she is getting out of this one..... the blame is all hers and I did nothing but try to help a friend!!
the way I see it, I'm a thinkin' I may have to trick her into meeting me half way between her place in Kansas and my place in Nebraska for a weekend of drinking, and , and, umm..... FUN!!!! Maybe I can get her to "drunk blog".....then you would all
And let this be a lesson to one and all.....NEVER, I repeat, NEVER help a friend on Facebook!!!
BEER ASSULT
SHIT, DAMN AND HELL !! Where have I been for the last 5 months??? Out of my mind that's where!
Hubby is on his last year of this Damn union job, the one thatgives him an extra paycheck every month causes him so much stress..... so much stress that the extra paycheck he gets (that is NOT part of the household funds), well it goes to the local liquor store. Yea to the tune of $14 a day!
I ask him if he was going to miss his beer when the job is no longer his, and he said "nope". Um... What the hell does he think? Does he believe I am giving him that kind of money from the household funds? Does he think he wont be drinking it any more? I chose not to find out just yet.......
But I don't think I can do this much longer...... You see after a 12 pack a night, he proceeds to go get into MY new bed, (yea the one I had to have after I broke my neck in order to sleep pain free) and crashes into a coma! A coma of the brain mind you, not a coma of the body!! 2 hours later I go in and roll him over so I can get the covers that he is so adamant about laying on TOP of.....put a 4 ft body pillow between us, another pillow on top of that.....and one under my head. Should be good for the night right? WRONG!!
I have gone from getting kneed in the back and elbowed in the head to......wait for this shit.....
You are never going to believe this......
The elbow now lands OVER 2 fucking pillows to land in my FACE!! The knee in the back, well the pillow protects the back.....but it is not fucking BRICK...so he rolls right on over them and plops happily on my face....smothering me in the mean time! Thankfully I have the will to survive!! I can usually slither off the side of the bed, roll his ass back over and rearrange that fucking pillow wall......and manage to hold my breath while doing so.....Have you ever smelled sleeping beer breath? That shit will traumatize you for life if it doesn't kill ya!
And hell no I am not giving up my bed.......I will move it to another room someday while he is working and put a lock on the fucking door!! Maybe I will let him have the futon that's in the dogs room Better yet, I think I will keep my room and put him in the room with the dogs beds.....Let him fight the Saint for the futon in there.....I can just see waking up with his ass curled up in the dog bed and the Saint stretched out on the futon!!!! Oh that would so be picture time!!
In the mean time.....I will get my 2 hours of sleep a night and endure the headaches and body aches until I am to wore out to continue......
Oh, the Love of my Life.......
Hubby is on his last year of this Damn union job, the one that
I ask him if he was going to miss his beer when the job is no longer his, and he said "nope". Um... What the hell does he think? Does he believe I am giving him that kind of money from the household funds? Does he think he wont be drinking it any more? I chose not to find out just yet.......
But I don't think I can do this much longer...... You see after a 12 pack a night, he proceeds to go get into MY new bed, (yea the one I had to have after I broke my neck in order to sleep pain free) and crashes into a coma! A coma of the brain mind you, not a coma of the body!! 2 hours later I go in and roll him over so I can get the covers that he is so adamant about laying on TOP of.....put a 4 ft body pillow between us, another pillow on top of that.....and one under my head. Should be good for the night right? WRONG!!
I have gone from getting kneed in the back and elbowed in the head to......wait for this shit.....
You are never going to believe this......
The elbow now lands OVER 2 fucking pillows to land in my FACE!! The knee in the back, well the pillow protects the back.....but it is not fucking BRICK...so he rolls right on over them and plops happily on my face....smothering me in the mean time! Thankfully I have the will to survive!! I can usually slither off the side of the bed, roll his ass back over and rearrange that fucking pillow wall......and manage to hold my breath while doing so.....Have you ever smelled sleeping beer breath? That shit will traumatize you for life if it doesn't kill ya!
And hell no I am not giving up my bed.......I will move it to another room someday while he is working and put a lock on the fucking door!!
In the mean time.....I will get my 2 hours of sleep a night and endure the headaches and body aches until I am to wore out to continue......
Oh, the Love of my Life.......
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