Wednesday, September 30, 2009


I am so glad to see everyone getting back into blogging!! Makes my morning coffee so much better with good reading, except of course when I spit my coffee at my monitor and keyboard......Thanks for that Queenie.

We are still busy going out of town every weekend.....I am really tired of that already, I don't think the work will ever be done.

T has been so busy being his Mom's Personal Representative that he really has not had time to grieve at is wearing hard on him and we all know what happens then.....yep, shit runs downhill and I have to catch and bag!

He has decided to put both houses, the car and all personal property into an Estate Auction......He says it is not worth the money to list the properties with Realtors, run ads for everythng......He does not want to take care of two empty houses all winter. Can't say that I blame him there.....

But where so we draw the line??? Ma had a good chunk of change in investments and stocks (not enough to let me be a SAHM unfortunately), the two houses combined are worth a little over 200 grand. The car books for 16,400, and then we still have the property in Branson to try and get rid of.....UCK! A time share no less!!

We did take all of the dress clothes hanging in all 5 closets to the local YMCA, thought it would be nice to help those women dress for success! And donated both newspaper subscriptions to the public schools, all the magazines and craft items went to the local Veterans hospital. And believe it or not.....

Ma had been saving empty prescription bottles for 3 years!!!  WTF??? is all I could think of......then I found out that those bottles get reused for Veterans!!!!!  What a great idea to help cut the costs of their meds!! Yep those got donated too.

So we choose to auction every thing and take a financial loss on all of it basically.....Except that there are the 5 step brothers......they are to share in the sale of the small house.....they don't want to auction it. Nor do they want to be responsible for it while it sits empty. 4 of the 5 are closer than we are! But according to Ma's will, Tory has to sell it in a timely manner.

What the hell is timely??

How long should he wait?? I have never had to go through anything this extensive, any ideas or thoughts would be helpful.... But bring them on quickly......
I been scratching my head so much it is starting to bleed and my branin is oozing out!!!!

For now I think I will just keep on drinking...... CHEERS!

Friday, September 18, 2009

For All of Us Who have ever Grieved

Don't tell me that you undestand
Don't tell me that you know.
Don't tell me that I will survive,
How I will surely grow.

Don't tell me this is just a test,
That I am truly blessed,
That I am chosen for this task,
Apart from all the rest.

Don't come at me with answers
That can only come from me,
Don't tell me how my grief will pass
That I will soon be free.

Don't stand in pious judgment
Of the bounds I must untie,
Don't tell me how to suffer,
And don't tell me how to cry.

My life is filled with selfishness,
My pain is all I see,
But I need you, I need your love,

Accept me in my ups and downs,
I need someone to share,
Just hold my hand and let me cry,
And say, "my friend, I care."

Author: Joanette Hendel

Monday, September 14, 2009

Anything for Ma

As many of you know....I have always said I have the greatest in laws evah!!

And who knew that 2 short years could make such a difference in someone's health.....

Well we lost one of those great people last month.....hubby's ma passed away.....left an unrepairable hole in our hearts.

Ma always told us she was the World's Greatest Procrastinator...and she was right!!!
For the last month we have been shredding receipts and canceled checks from 1984 to present!
And it will take us a very long time to get every thing done.....

I have a few things to say to ma, so excuse me while I write her a letter........

Dear Ma,
We love and miss you very much....would you please come back and finish the tasks you had started, well not really started yet, but planned on doing some day? You know how you said that when you inherited grandma's house that you were getting rid of all her "stuff" except heirloom pieces? Well, I would never call you a liar, but you really procrastinated that one! Really Ma? Her clothes are still here! You decorated the house with all your own things....around hers!

Remember when you lost your husband 8 years ago? Ma, he had 5 sons! I know at the time you were not ready to give them his things, I know you wanted him with you still. You missed him...but Ma! we are now going thru his clothes, collectibles, personal items......Ma, you still have his TEETH!

Remember how you promised us kids that you would have everything clearly lined up for your death? Ok, I understand that didn't feel well enough to do those things.

You told us your Will was very specific.....yep.....gotcha! you named a Personal Representative. Good job Ma.......Guess who has to walk him through every step? Every decision? Every appointment? And yes, every phone call? You knew I would, you depended on me, and you know I will be there every step of the way.

Now would you please give me a little more guidance than the Damn lamp playing.......
or at least hit the medium setting on the lamp once in a while so I could chalk it up to a short in the damn thing? Because I can't get it to jump from low to high to low and back to off without going through the medium setting also!

And leave the radio alone!!! I know you always had it on, but I shut it off!!! Please leave it that way! My heart breaks every time I walk into the room and it turns itself on.....

But guess what Ma? I am still learning from you!! 1. A single person does NOT need a 5 bedroom is to easy to fill up! 2. Rental houses do not need to be 4 bedroom for extra income, that is a whole family we have to move out to sell that house! 3. Yes there were a total of 10 siblings between the step, biological and other side of the family...and yes everyone was so amazed that all 10 were present at your funeral, but yep, there is always one that has to be an Ass, and guess what? you were right when you told us which one it would be!

Ma, I love and miss you so much!!!!! And I am a strong person and I know you have always depended on that from me, but damn it......This is the biggest challenge you have given me yet....I only hope I have the strength to do it right, and see to it that the kids all stay close after it is all done!

With All my Love,
Your First and Most Favorite Daughter-in-Law

P.S. Where is the loan papers on the car? And would you send us a buyer for your 2007 Camry with only 6600 miles on it?? yea, the one in the garage that you didn't feel well enough to buy plates for...... :(

And a big Thank You to all those who have sent cards, messages and kind thoughts and words through all of this!